Archive for December, 2008

Take Captive your (Negative) Thoughts

It’s been hard not to have negative thoughts of despair, regret and anger: every time I look at my stock portfolio I am gripped with anxiety.  This was money I had dutifully saved only to have it all come doubling down.

But only by focusing on the solution, even in the midst of total distress, can I find hope.  This is the test we all must go through, and 90% of the battle is mental.

So what do we do?  We have to use will-power and faith in God to wrestle with these thoughts:

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

The context and probably the original intent was to set people up to withstand false prophesies and ideologies away from believing in Christ.

But I would say that anxiety, self-doubt, lack of self-worth — all those impact our ability to have a relationship with God and ignore that fact that He dwells within.  Bad things happen.  And when they do and we start to panic, doesn’t that mean we doubt the sovereignty of God?

Can the financial irresponsibility of those who brought upon us this economic crisis have thrwarted God’s plans?

What am I doing to take these thoughts captive?  I’m spreading it out in the next post, but it’s willpower and prayer.

My personal challenge: to go for 24-hours without a negative thought and instead to focus on solutions and gratitude.

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Constructive Criciticism…what does it look like?

So I have been thinking about how to phrase the discussion with this guy from our men’s group.  I want to be succinct about our concerns, after I have spoken with one other person.  The first sign that he’s not vested is that…we are spinning our wheels on how to discuss the truth…and about how his behavior has negatively impacted us.  It’s because we’ve seen how he reacts and cannot take comments or correction.  It made me think of these verses:

If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.

If you reject criticism, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding

(Proverbs 15:31-32)

Here are the thoughts:

He just gives advice from on high, not through personal revelation

I’m not sure this is a sin, but when everyone else in the group is sharing from their experience, their brokenness, or their triumphs, and someone sits there and says, “No, what you should do is this, or the reason why you do such is that” — it feels like, as one person in the group said, we’re showing up and Joe gets to be psychologist for two hours.  I’m not sure what the Biblical principle is, but as we felt, it was easier to share and easier to be real when Joe isn’t there.  That must tell us something.

It feels as if he doesn’t really commit to the group

I have wrestled with the factd that, although I’ve probably known him the longest, he’s the only person who did not support my missions trip.  It didn’t have to be elaborate…it’s clear that what’s in the heart is what God sees.  Thing is, I expected him to say no.  And he didn’t even have the courtesy to respond.  I had to follow up with him to get him to speak the truth.  Where is the sacrifice for your brother in that?

Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won’t be faithful in large ones.  If you cheat even a little, you won’t be honest with greater responsibilities.

Luke 16:10

He has not shown up at all to any of the outside activities.  In fact, when new guys showed up and they asked if we ever hang out, he said no.  Both me and Tom looked at each other: was this guy going to the same small group as us?

In fact, he wasn’t: his world was not one where you spend time outside of small group with the other members.  It simply hasn’t happened.

Is it his schedule as he said?  Not sure I can believe it entirely: if some of the more popular folks in his church have a huge event, he’s able to make it.

In fact, he turned down one of the guys in our group to have lunch, one who has said that he’s frustrated with the fact no one seems to want to go out to lunch with him, to have lunch with other people.

Why is this so hard to tell him these things?  Because we know already that he’s not vested in the group: it’s more important to named the ‘leader’ than to actually lead and pour into the group.

So how do I tell him these things?

Yes, but it’s hard.  It’s been on my heart for a while, probably several months, as I’ve watched and observed to find anything to say none of this is true.

Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.

For a time is coming when people will no  longer listen to right teaching.  They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever they want to hear.

(2 Timothy 4:2-3)

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Confronting a small group “leader”

I have been finding alot of application or parallels in reading 1 Samuel with the need for us to talk to the small group leader.

I have been the leader for this group since the inception, but when I switched churches, because the other fellas attended the same church, I stepped down to allow “Joe” to lead.

After at least a year, I have concluded: I’ve still been leading, and it is more of a drain for me and has allowed the others to flounder.

This will be a difficult confrontation, because when small issues have been raised, he’s gotten very defensive, and there’s alot of rationalizing that can happen.  I am praying he won’t be like Saul, but this passage stood out:

And Samuel told him, “Although you may think little of yourself, are you not the leader of the tribes of Israel? … Why haven’t you obeyed the Lord?  Why did you rush for the plunder and do exactly what the Lord said not to do?”

“But I did obey the Lord,” Saul insisted.  “I carried out the mission he gave me.  I brought back King Agag, but I destroyed everyone else.”….

But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice?  Obedience is far better than sacrifice.  listening to him is much better than offering the fat of rams….stubbornness is as bad as worshipping idols.”

This is not to make a one to one comparison with Saul, but the heart is there.  To rationalize doing things your way, in the face of what one is expected to do.

The challenge is building the case of what real “leadership” is, and we’ve been bringing them up:

• Living life together, versus dispending advice from on high
• Life on life, versus departmentalizing…making the other brothers just an “option”
• Knowing the word, not knowing the world.

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How to start your day

I find myself often rushing, eager to dive into email and reading blogs and just getting about my business.

But every day for the past couple of weeks, I start with just a plain notebook, silence, and then a moment of reading through the Bible.  Right now, I focus on Psalms and Proverbs.

My take away for today on how to start the day:

My soul, wait silently for God alone.  (Psa 62:5)

There are other areas where silence is essential and called for in the Bible.  But to start the day allows us to trust the craziness and the business and the junk and put it into His hands.  We cannot let God’s wisdom and power flow through us when we tend to what we want to do.

Challenge

Instead of diving into the stuff of the day, take silence in the beginning and ask God to help prioritize.  This will seem counter-intuitive because, man, the clock is ticking, gotta go go go!  And it will take time, our synapses haven’t been trained to wait for God first thing in the morning, but that is a wonderful way to start the day.

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