Archive for October, 2008
Four types you should stop hanging out with
The path of wisdom inspired by King Solomon has many references to the types of relationships that we have. In reading through, he makes recommendations on the type of people to avoid or perhaps to no longer associate with.
That can be a hard decision for some people to make. I, myself, in retrospect have associated too long with people who have some of these characteristics, but it has become clear that we should take note of the following.
As you read these, I invite you to do a quick inventory for yourself to identify these types of people:
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. Proverbs 20:19
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensared. Proverbs 22:24-25
Do not speak to a fool, for he will scorn the wisdom of your words. Proverbs 23:9
Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags. Proverbs 23:20-21
So what does this mean?
1. Do not hang out with untrustworthy or gossipy people
2. Do not be around someone with a bad temper
3. Don’t hang out with someone who is “foolish” — more on this definition later, Proverbs gives much better descriptions.
4. Don’t hang out with total gluttons.
This last one might be the hardest — these folks are just having fun, right? What’s wrong with a fun night out? I think the passage is focusing on those who do “too much” of both.
But the broader context is, take a look at your existing relationships. Can you do an inventory of who they are and what they stand for? How do those “friendships” strengthen you and, conversely, how do you strengthen them?
When you look at yourself, do you play God?
In the typical “Hero’s Journey,” the hero starts out at best ordinary but most likely flawed, and yet is the right and only person who can rise to the occasion.
In “Rising Son,” Da Wei, the protagonist of my story, is a slave among slaves who cannot believe that the tyrannical Xi Cai and his power-hungry son Kyung can be overthrown.
He, as do most people, look at themselves through the eyes of a man. And, in reality, people experience the result of being viewed by what mortal men see.
But David, as one whose heart belonged to God, experienced God’s discernment.
Samuel, in speaking with God, sought to understand who would be annointed the next King.
Ordered to bring the sons of Jesse, he complied, and immediately expected the oldest son Eliab to be the anointed one:
“When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, “Surely the LORD’s anointed stands here before the LORD.”
But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7-7
I find myself falling into that trap, applying the same optic on myself (on others) as Samuel did on Eliab and David.
It is so easy to compare our perception of our outward appearance with the outward appearances of others. I heard someone comment to me that people often compare their insides with the outsides of others, and in that scenario, we will often feel badly.
But in this story, God clearly tells Samuel and us that he looks at the heart to “anoint” the one who will rise on his behalf.
